How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINHow can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINSometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
GEORGE CARLINI think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINJust when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLINI don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLINMost people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLINOne good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLINReligion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLINDon’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLINHave you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLINIf someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLINWould a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLINLife is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLINA good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN