People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Religion is just mind control.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN







