Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLINIf your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN