There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN