Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN







