Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Religion is just mind control.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN