I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is just mind control.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN