Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLINMen are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLINA good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLINThe caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLINI had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLINThe safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLINElectricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLINDon’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLINLife gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINNever argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLINIf a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN