How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINHow can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINI think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINI’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLINWhat do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLINAtheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLINLife is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLINInside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINThe wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLINThere are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLINDon’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
GEORGE CARLINIf we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINAlways do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLINSometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLINThe reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLINWhen you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN