I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLINSome people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN