Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
GEORGE CARLIN -
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN