If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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Meow means woof in cat.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN