The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN