Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN