How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN