Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
More George Carlin Quotes
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN