With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s never just a game when you’re winning.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN