Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLINAlways do whatever’s next.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN