Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLINAlways do whatever’s next.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN







