There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLINThere’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLINThe planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLINBy and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLINA cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLINJust when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLINI’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLINThe wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLINWould a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLINIf a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLINAge is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLINWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLINHonesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
GEORGE CARLINSometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLINThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN