May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLINThere are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN