I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
GEORGE CARLINAvoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN -
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN -
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN







