With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
More George Carlin Quotes
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN







