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George Carlin Quote - Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

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Funny Humour Idiot Maniac

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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
Life is tough, then you die.
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Die Life One Liner Reality Tough
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Failure Humour Hustle Inspirational Success Try
How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Die Man One Liner Perfection
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crime Criminal Fight Fire Freedom
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Attitude Humour Lying Myself Reason Truth
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN

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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN

Atheism One Liner Organization Prophet
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN

Avoid Circle Friendship Group Moral Wisdom
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Howl Moon Night Silence Wolf
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confuse Force House Humour Inspirational One Liner
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin

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