If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLINFighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN