Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLINI had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
More George Carlin Quotes
-
-
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLIN -
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN -
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN