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George Carlin Quote - If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

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Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLIN

Baby Conservation Death Live Soldier Teaching
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Argument Excuse God Man Refuge
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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Business Man Sell Smile Time
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Dog Funny Inspirational Job Lying
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN

Arrange Beat Failure One Liner
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN

Friendship Humour Photographer Photography Picture Thief
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Children Fuck Humour Role Model
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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One Liner Petty Sweat
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLIN

Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
GEORGE CARLIN

Game Inspirational One Liner Success Victory Win
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Group Inspirational One Liner People Stupidity Underestimate
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Challenge Hard Time Humour Inspirational Situation

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