We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Religion is just mind control.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN