I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN