Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLINThe planet is fine. The people are fucked.
More George Carlin Quotes
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN