Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINLet a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN