Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLINThe God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN