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George Carlin Quote - Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.

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America Body Crazy Fitness Lost Soul Try

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
GEORGE CARLIN

Big Emptiness Glass People Perspective Sad
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Helping Humour Life One Liner Shit
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN

Acceptance Attitude Humour Lying Myself Reason Truth
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN

Breathe Life Memories Moment Travel
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Floor Funny One Liner Tequilla
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN

Beautiful Language One Liner Positive Smile
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN

Church Money Religion
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny House Humour Place Stuff
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN

Control Mind One Liner Religion
If your kid needs a role model and you ain’t it, you’re both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN

Children Fuck Humour Role Model
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLIN

Business Man Sell Smile Time
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN

Arrange Beat Failure One Liner
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN

Funny Humour Idiot Maniac
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play

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