People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLINPeople can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLINHave you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLINWell, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLINIf we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLINIf you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLINEveryone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLINLife gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLINThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLINSome people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLINI had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLINAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLINScratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINThe wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLINI think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLINI have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN