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George Carlin Quote - Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

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Church Money Religion

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Inspirational Man Myself Shoes Sorry
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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Funny Homeless Humour Naked Shell
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Religion Shoes Wear
I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Believe Happiness One Liner World
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN

Confidence Inspirational Life
The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLIN

Crazy Funny Humour Men Reason Stupidity Women
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN

Comedy Humour Liberty Thinking
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Goodness Kill Try Work Hard
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Bad Christmas Girl Jolly Live Reason Santa Sex
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN

Human Nature People Wasted Time
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLIN

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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Audience Funny Stage World
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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Average Direction Each Other Expectation Life Opposite
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN

Alcohol Drinking Fuck Pregnant Warniing Women

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