I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLINI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
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Religion is just mind control.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Meow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN -
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
GEORGE CARLIN







