A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLINI like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
GEORGE CARLIN