A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLINWith the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN