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George Carlin Quote - With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.

With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
GEORGE CARLIN

Goodness Kill Try Work Hard
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN

Earthquake Humour Place Shop Stationary
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
GEORGE CARLIN

Consider Kill Personality Situation
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bagpipe Crack Hook Humour People Play
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
GEORGE CARLIN

Humour Owned Science Telescope
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
GEORGE CARLIN

Age Hell Humour One Liner Price Wisdom
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN

Fight One Liner Peace Screw Sex Virgin
We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN

Grass Humanity Nation One Liner Sheep
Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN

Religion Shoes Wear
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLIN

Forget Man One Liner Teaching Wisdom Wise
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN

Crappy Day Funny Human Nature Humour People
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
GEORGE CARLIN

Citizen Ignorant Leadership Selfish
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN

Entertainment Life Missing People
People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLIN

Closure Head Healing People
Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN

Bull Shit Life School Simplicity Teaching
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLIN

Deep Fly Walk

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