Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLINThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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People can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN