I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLINThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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I’m happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.
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Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
GEORGE CARLIN







