I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLINThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN -
A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN