Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLINThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you’ll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Religion is just mind control.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
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People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN