Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLINThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
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I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Religion is just mind control.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN