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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.

Bob Hope

The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE

Act Agents Funny High Inside Trying
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
BOB HOPE

Country Kissing Lazy Love People
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
Lots of travel, away from home.
BOB HOPE

Away From Home Line One
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you.
BOB HOPE

Funny Rain Weather
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE

Adversity Better Lucky Now Pugs

If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.

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If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.

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