The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPEEverybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE -
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE -
When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.
BOB HOPE -
I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
BOB HOPE -
I just hope I don’t have to explain all the times I’ve used His name in vain when I get up there.
BOB HOPE -
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE -
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE -
Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
BOB HOPE -
The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear’s huge jaws. I wouldn’t even try that with my agent.
BOB HOPE -
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
BOB HOPE -
I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
BOB HOPE -
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE -
We didn’t know that in America after the war, you wouldn’t be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
BOB HOPE -
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE







