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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Bob Hope

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.
BOB HOPE

Golf Painting President
I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, “Don’t worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it’s obsolete.”
BOB HOPE

Aircraft Asked Bob Obsolete Type Worry
The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
BOB HOPE

Aspirin Firm Print Times
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome – the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer.
BOB HOPE

Golf Paramedic Play Trying
There’s a very apt saying in show business: “If you don’t go over budget in Paris, you’re either very rich or very sick. “
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Paris
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
I tell jokes to pay my green fees.
BOB HOPE

Golf Green Pay
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I’ve been doing that all my life.
BOB HOPE

Bombers Bombs Hell
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
BOB HOPE

Anything Resist Temptation
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Night Reason Same
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State

I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Hope Quotes