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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

Bob Hope

Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE

Animal Running White
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Japan
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
BOB HOPE

One Should Taxes Travel Years
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE

Although Beautiful Girl Lucky Over Thing Whole
There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Personality Talented
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Giving Golf Sweaters Up

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies

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