Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KINGAs life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
More Alan King Quotes
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING