I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KINGAs life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
More Alan King Quotes
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING