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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

Alan King

That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
ALAN KING

Great New Older Thing Year
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING

Day Decide Dinner Go Morning Through
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING

Ability Absorb Book Else Exactly Make Someone Stage Story Word
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING

Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
ALAN KING

Bigotry Father First Oppression Read Talk Think Time
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING

Again Go Role Something Sympathetic Thirty Two Week
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING

Eat Every Holiday Jewish Kill Summer Try Won
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING

Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING

Comedy Create Nothing Reflection
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING

Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING

Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KING

Always Art Even Humour Somebody Want Weapon
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KING

Always Big Consider End Failure Line Old Socialist Unionist
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING

Atom Think Expense Great Humor Someone Something
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING

Charm Humor Rhythm Soul
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING

Again Apple Cloudy Drank Faint Juice Little Morning Nurse One Pour Run Specimen Tube

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

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Popular Authors

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