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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.

Related Topics

Egg Except Food Life Only Pleasure Salami Second Sex

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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Ability Audience Comedy Identity never Say Son Story Tell
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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Amazing Away Call Comedy Get Hard Laugh Once Turn
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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Modesty One Virtue
The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Coverage Fire Frown Kind Lawyer Problem Theft

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