A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KINGAs life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
More Alan King Quotes
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
ALAN KING