It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KINGOne thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING -
Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KING -
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
ALAN KING -
A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING -
When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING -
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING