I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KINGOne thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
More Alan King Quotes
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING