I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KINGOne thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
More Alan King Quotes
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING -
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
ALAN KING -
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING -
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
ALAN KING -
That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING