If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KINGOne thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
More Alan King Quotes
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING