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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Related Topics

Choose Happiness Misery Money

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Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
GROUCHO MARX

Applesauce Cranberry Taste
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX

Die Genius One Liner Young
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX

Lucky Person Pool Swimming Underwater
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX

Beat Confidence Goodness Head Mind Revenge War
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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Insult One Liner Respect
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Leadership Man Women
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX

Hear Memories Past Stop Story
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
GROUCHO MARX

Funny Hero Heroine Tits
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX

Anatomy Judgement Poverty
I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
GROUCHO MARX

Cigar Love Mouth Relationship
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX

Army Justice Military Music One Liner
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Book Fools Trouble Writing Yourself
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
GROUCHO MARX

Drunk Febuary Morning
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX

Equality Freedom Prejudices
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX

Children Fetch Funny Understand
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX

Attitude Insult One Liner Remind Talk Time

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