Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARXI am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX -
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX