While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARXI never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX -
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
GROUCHO MARX






