Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLINThe main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN