“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.”

The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

It’s never just a game when you’re winning.

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.

Always do whatever’s next.

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

It was an unbelievable experience! The brakes, the g-forces and the power of the engine are beyond description.