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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.

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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
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I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
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We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
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Humour Meet Night Own Theater

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