Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARXA child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX -
We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
GROUCHO MARX -
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX