The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Always do whatever’s next.
GEORGE CARLIN