“Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.”

I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.

Whatever it is, I’m against it.

Humour is reason gone mad.

Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.

I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.

Any place I hang my head is home.

The soft climate and luxuriance of the tropics; the greenness, the fragrance, the flowers – extraordinary flowers covering the tallest trees and turning them into huge bouquets.

Now come the whispers bearing bouquets of moonbeams and sunlight tremblings.

My favourite flowers are English country roses – I had a bouquet of them for my wedding.