Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
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I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Don’t confuse me with those who cling to hope.
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There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.
GEORGE CARLIN