I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARXTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Time wounds all heels.
GROUCHO MARX