Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX






