If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
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Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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All geniuses die young.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX