She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve been looking for a girl like you – not you, but a girl like you.
GROUCHO MARX -
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARX -
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX