Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Room service? Send up a larger room.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX