If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
GROUCHO MARX -
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
GROUCHO MARX -
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
GROUCHO MARX