Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
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Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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Once I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
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I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Somebody once said it’s what you dont see you’re interested in, and this is true.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX