Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARXOnce I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
GROUCHO MARX -
Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX -
We’ll meet at the theater tonight. I’ll hold your seat ’til you get there. Once you get there; you’re on your own.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX -
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
GROUCHO MARX -
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX