The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
GROUCHO MARXOnce I put it down I couldn’t pick it back up.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX -
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX -
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX -
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX -
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX -
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
GROUCHO MARX -
You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
GROUCHO MARX -
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX