What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLINWhat do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLINWith the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLINAvoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLINThe older you get, the better you realize you were.
GEORGE CARLINThere are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLINConservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
GEORGE CARLINThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLINThe main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
GEORGE CARLINA cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
GEORGE CARLINThe only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
GEORGE CARLINWould a fly without wings be called a walk?
GEORGE CARLINThe safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLINEveryone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLINIf a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
GEORGE CARLINMeow means woof in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN