Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLINI don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Always do whatever’s next.
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Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
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I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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What do dogs do on their day off?; Can’t lie around – that’s their job!
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN







