How can he be perfect? Everything he ever makes, dies.
GEORGE CARLINAlways do whatever’s next.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Religion is just mind control.
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Religion is like a pair of shoes. Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I’ll bet there aren’t too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLIN -
People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
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Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN







