“Always do whatever’s next.”

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it’s trying to save its body.

Sometimes a little brain damage can help.

Life is tough, then you die.

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.

I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.

I’ve never owned a telescope, but it’s something I’m thinking of looking into.

Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.

It doesn’t matter what your dream is, you can make it happen!

The man who is really serious, with the urge to find out what truth is, has no style at all. He lives only in what is.

If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.

If you want to be rich watch what rich people do everyday and do it. And watch what poor people do and don’t do it.

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.

And just because you have colleges and universities doesn’t mean you have education.