The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot.
GEORGE CARLINAlways do whatever’s next.
More George Carlin Quotes
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The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
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It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
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The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN