If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINIf we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.
GEORGE CARLINIt’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLINI would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLINNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLINPeople can’t seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure.
GEORGE CARLINIf you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLINAtheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLINMost people with low self-esteem have earned it.
GEORGE CARLINThe most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
GEORGE CARLINThe safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLINLaugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLINMen are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLINHave you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLINPeople who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
GEORGE CARLINThe God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.
GEORGE CARLINIf you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN