The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
More George Carlin Quotes
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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Is there another word for synonym?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so fuckin’ heroic.
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A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math.
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Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.
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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.
GEORGE CARLIN -
If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN