The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
GEORGE CARLINNot only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
More George Carlin Quotes
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Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Don’t give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
GEORGE CARLIN -
With the proper training, I could’ve been an evil genius.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you’ll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
GEORGE CARLIN -
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
GEORGE CARLIN -
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Life is tough, then you die.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN -
Sometimes a little brain damage can help.
GEORGE CARLIN -
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN -
It’s important in life if you don’t give a shit. It can help you a lot.
GEORGE CARLIN







