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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Why, look at me. I’ve worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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If you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
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I must admit, I was born at an early age.
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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All geniuses die young.
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Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
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Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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