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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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All geniuses die young.
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Die Genius One Liner Young
I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.
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I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
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Time wounds all heels.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
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Huff Humour Leave
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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Attitude Life Principles Rules

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