“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.

Obscurity and a competence – that is the life that is best worth living.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Every moment you spend on this planet, remember that you are here for a unique purpose & cause, far greater than to just eat, sleep & talk.

Eating meat and drinking liquor are demonic vices. Those indulging in drink lose all sense of propriety, have no compassion or love and become demons.

Whenever I have friends over, we end up eating and talking and losing track of time, and, once in a while, singing karaoke. It reminds me of the family meals we had in Russia, which always lasted a very long time. That’s a tradition I miss.

My favorite food is hot Cheetos. I could eat those every day.

We do as much, we eat as much, we want as much.

I remember when I couldn’t afford to eat like this. It was ramen noodles and the San Francisco Treat [Rice-A-Roni]. Dessert? Get you a honey bun and put a slice of cheese on it. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds and you had the gift of a lifetime.

I remember when I couldn’t afford to eat like this. It was ramen noodles and the San Francisco Treat [Rice-A-Roni]. Dessert? Get you a honey bun and put a slice of cheese on it. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds and you had the gift of a lifetime.

I remember when I couldn’t afford to eat like this. It was ramen noodles and the San Francisco Treat [Rice-A-Roni]. Dessert? Get you a honey bun and put a slice of cheese on it. Put it in the microwave for 45 seconds and you had the gift of a lifetime.